|by Precious Williams|
If you have been reading my blog for awhile, then you would know that this year has been quite a journey for me. After living a mediocre life for the past few years, something had to give. I had to live the life I dreamed of…a life on my terms.
My vision of success lied in me refusing to be average, random or ordinary. So January 22, 2012, I made the decision that it was now or never. My life had to mean something and I had to embrace the woman within.
I ended friendships that were no longer friendly. I decided that being a lawyer was no longer an option. I became an entrepreneur. I started writing this blog as a way for me to share my growth with all of you.
In all my growing, I didn’t realize that my greatest battle still lied within. My ability to survive a broken heart was tested last week. This relationship shook my very will to live. I loved this man. But this same man abused, mistreated and disrespected me. I wasn’t thin enough. I wasn’t smart enough. I wasn’t cool enough…to keep him by my side. After two years of pathetically throwing myself at him, I finally had to let him go. It was hard but I thought I had licked it…until he wanted to see me.
My friends and family advised against it. My mind told me no. My heart said “please, one last time.” My heart won out. But I was so scared he would point out the fact that I had gained weight. I was scared that he would tell me I was no longer attractive. I was scared that he would tell me once and for all I was never on his level or good enough to be on his arm.
Wouldn’t you know it? The tables hard turned my friends!!!! When I saw him, he no longer was Mr. Swagger!!! He was no longer fly!!! He was thinner and had a look of defeat. He no longer had any money. He was not working. He was rather pitiful.
He spent more time telling me he was proud of me. Me? Me? Me? Yes, me. He was proud that I was an entrepreneur. He was proud that I followed my dreams. I actually felt him look at me differently. Gone was the look that “I can do better.” It was replaced by “wow, you are on it, Precious.”
The moral of the story is that I had changed. I wasn’t pathetic. I was a new person. I wasn’t broken-hearted. I was different. I had grown into myself. I loved myself and I would no longer tolerate his bullsh### and lies. He couldn’t hurt me anymore.
His day of reckoning had come. The very things he said to me years earlier were now being said to him. He was no longer the greatest thing that happened to me. He was just another experience in my life.
I now know what it means to survive and thrive. I learned that my self-love is greater than any love on this earth. There is nothing wrong with me. I am beautiful and its about time I knew that.
Do know that one day, the tables will turn. I promise…
Girls, you know what time it is. Get right on the inside. No man is worth your happiness. No person should be able to make you feel less than. You are wonderful and wonderfully made. Love yourself…it is truly the greatest love of all!!!