Ladies Who Launch

Stella Grizont is the Director of Marketing at Ladies Who Launch. In addition to her full time gig with Ladies Who Launch, she also serves as an Incubator Leader in New York City and New Jersey and has led nearly 500 women through the Ladies Who Launch Incubator program. She’s excited to share her launching insights, learnings, and ponderings with you.

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“How sweet is life when it flows like a song, but a [wo]man worthwhile is a [wo]man with a smile when everything goes dead wrong!!” - The meditation teacher of my NYC Incubator Member, Danielle Lanyard.

For anyone who has taken an Incubator workshop - we’ve all felt the powerful contagiousness of launching. Watching others make their dreams come true is infectious and inspires movement and possibilities where previously we may have felt stuck or a void. The same holds true with negativity - unfortunately, it sometimes is even more seductive than positive movement. Haven’t you ever found that the feelings of fear, doubt, blame, and victimization have a nifty way of immediately clenching down on your mood, motivation, and momentum? Having just fallen prey to the power of a downer, and victoriously risen from it, I’m dedicating this blog to be about launching with love and how to resist the sirens of misery.

In the past 6 months, our Ladies Who Launch website has gone through some growing pains. As a perfectionista and pleaser (I’m sure most of you can relate) I felt responsible for any one’s dissatisfaction- even if I had nothing to do with the situation at hand. I’d spend time feeling guilty, feeling bad, and feeling overwhelmed. Thankfully, I’ve learned how to let go of that unproductive attitude and now I even send love to those who previously caused me angst. If you find yourself letting others’ disappointment, disapproval, or disagreement affect your mood - than it maybe time to take back the power. There’s no way you can control how others feel, think, or react - so the only thing to do is to build up emotional antibodies to negative nastiness and send all your best to those who may not have mastered that trick quite yet.

So here’s a wonderful story that I’d like to share with you about how to do just that. My good friend and fellow Incubator leader, Karla Lightfoot, passed this on. This is written by David J. Pollay (check out his blog for more good stuff). Enjoy.

-Stella

Want to Be Happier? Learn the Law of the Garbage Truck™
How often do you let other people’s nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you’re the Terminator, you’re probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of your success is how quickly you can refocus on what’s important.

Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. And I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here’s what happened:

I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when all of a sudden a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, the car skidded, the tires squealed and at the last moment the car stopped just one inch from the other car’s back-end.

And what did we see next? The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started swearing at us. How do I know? Ask any New Yorker, some words in New York come with a special face.

And then here’s what blew me away. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, “Why did you just do that!? This guy could have killed us!” And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, “The Law of the Garbage Truck™” He said:

Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you.

So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well and move on. Believe me. You’ll be happier.

So I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home or on the street? It was then that I said, “I don’t want the garbage and I’m not going to spread it anymore.”

I began to see Garbage Trucks. Like in the movie “The Sixth Sense,” where the little boy said, “I see Dead People.” Well now “I see Garbage Trucks.” I see the load they’re carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my taxi driver, I don’t take it personally; I just smile, wave, wish them well and move on.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day. What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more Garbage Trucks pass you by?

And my taxi driver was right. I am happier.

David J. Pollay

David J. Pollay’s book, Beware of Garbage Trucks!™, is due out this Fall. And if you’re ready to watch people take the No Garbage Trucks! Pledge™ on the streets of New York, click here. You can also catch David’s Monday Morning Momentum™ posts on his blog. David is a syndicated columnist with the North Star Writers Group, and creator of The Happiness Answer™. He is the president of The Momentum Project. And he is a founding associate executive director of the International Positive Psychology Association at the University of Pennsylvania. David’s bio.