by Sheri Gaba
illustration by Barbara Hranilovich

A woman is feeling depressed and anxious because she’s getting a divorce. Another is feeling more hopeful after a divorce and shows no symptoms of depression or anxiety, but wants to move forward with her new life. Should these women see a therapist or a life coach? Or both? And what exactly is the difference between the two?

A therapist helps by healing old wounds, focusing on past issues, and dealing with personal problems that need to be analyzed and solved. The life coach, on the other hand, is a mentor or guide. Coaches focus on the manifestation of one’s future vision with the potential to make those dreams come alive now with accountability and action steps co-designed by the coach and the client.

Leslie Lupinsky, a master certified coach, states, “So much therapy is about the past and present and all about focusing the client toward healing. Coaching, on the other hand, is about helping a client look forward so they can expand their options and take action.” Life coaching is not about fixing a problem, but rather helping a client get out of the comfort zone and get more out of their life now.

Although therapy also can be experienced in the present moment, it often focuses on the family of origin, whereas coaching is a process whereby the client is consciously choosing a preferred future and at the same time living life fully and purposefully now. It clarifies what the client wants to improve upon, whether it be their career, relationship, health, physical wellness, or even spirituality.

Therapy comes from a medical model. If a person is coping with low self-esteem, the psychotherapist analyzes where the client’s negative self-image comes from. Life coaching, similarly, calls these negative voices saboteurs, but calls forth what is happening right now and champions all of the client’s brilliance of who they are and have always been. Gary Yoon, a life-coach client, insists coaching demands us to be the person we were created to be, not just for ourselves, but for others. “When we hide that part of ourselves, others can’t benefit from the beautiful gifts and talents we already have.”

Mary Copek used coaching to help her work through her grief over the sudden death of her husband. “I truly wanted to grieve as necessary, but to balance that right from the start with a positive plan for my future,” she said. “Coaching allowed me the freedom to cry and even in the same breath consider the new opportunities that lay before me.” Although she still experiences sad times from the loss, she says that those moments have been overshadowed by the exciting new life she has launched with the help and guidance of a life coach.

In essence, there is always room for life coaching or psychotherapy. When issues are more serious or are out of a coach’s scope of practice, it is absolutely necessary for a life coach to refer a client to outside therapy. Licensed psychotherapists, social workers, marriage and family counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists are highly trained to deal with mental illness, suicide, addictions, abuse, and other diagnosable illnesses. A client in these instances needs to be properly evaluated and treated.

Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a life coach and psychotherapist in Agoura, California. She works with adolescents, adults, and couples. She can be reached at 818-756-3338.