Love And Money: How To Keep One From Sabotaging The Other
by Galia Gichon
illustration by Barbara Hranilovich
Love and money don’t always go hand-in-hand. Money can be the cause of countless arguments, especially since most of us have different ways of dealing with it. However, if you heed the following few guidelines, you’ll find that money can become a source of joy within a relationship rather than a stress-inducer.
As with most areas of our lives, a healthy relationship is built upon open communication. The financial part of our relationships is no different. This means that both of you need to come clean about what you owe, your credit report, your spending, and your income. Be honest, because it will eventually come out. Do you know your partner’s financial goals and investing styles? Does your significant other want to save for the beach house while you’re squirreling away for the long-term-care insurance policy? Are you a risk-taker while your partner is risk-averse? Is one of you a spender and the other a saver or a worrier? If you don’t know, it’s time to find out! This information will affect your spending and savings plans. Make sure you meet somewhere in the middle.
It’s perfectly natural if you and your partner have different styles. The challenge lies in merging them. If you keep your accounts separate, you can start by opening a savings account together. Each of you can contribute a pre-determined amount every month and the account can have a purpose (i.e. vacation, new furniture). While you’re at it, schedule a money date with your partner on a regular basis. Bring a bottle of wine and get together when you’re both neither angry nor upset. After a while, you won’t need to make it so formal and you’ll find yourself looking forward to conversations about your finances.
If you’re constantly fighting about the bills, put your bills on autopilot with automatic payment. It gives you one less thing to talk about on your money date night. In your relationship, does just one of you pay all the bills and take care of the finances? Switch places for one month, and see what happens.
Very often, money becomes a source of contention within a relationship because we’re used to doing things a certain way and aren’t communicating properly. By including money matters as part of your regular conversations, you’ll start seeing more financial success in your relationship.
Galia Gichon is a member of the New York City Incubator and runs Down-to-Earth Finance.
