by Rachel Whalley
illustration by Kim Gledhill

One of the toughest things I’ve faced in starting up a business isn’t from doubtful colleagues or sharp-tongued, well-meaning “friends.” It’s the commentary I hear from my own inner critic. You know that guy—he’s the one in the corner of your mind asking, “What do YOU know about anything?”

Maybe your inner critic sounds different than mine, but I think they’re all related, regardless of accents and eccentricity of language. And his feedback is the most challenging to deal with, particularly because it’s all so negative.

It helps to realize that his job is to make sure you feel so crappy about yourself that you don’t take risks, you don’t make any changes, you don’t stand out … all so you can stay “safe.” Really, that’s his purpose: keep you safe by keeping you stagnant. You can’t fall down if you never get off the couch, right?

Well, sorry, critic, but movement is crucial to life. We all need to take some risks—to reach for even the lowest hanging star—once in a while. It’s by pursuing happiness that we remember that we’re alive.

So if this guy is getting you so down that you forget how fabulous and gifted you really are, here’s a brief exercise you can try out:

•     Sit down, get comfortable and work on visualizing him (or her).

•     Picture his face, his hair, her clothing, her expression—really give your critic a three-dimensional body in your mind’s eye. Or you can literally draw her, if you like.

•     Hear her voice and what she sounds like. Does she sneer out her words or does he have a deadly whisper?

•     Does she provoke a feeling in the pit of your stomach? Does the air grow colder when he shows up? Create all the aspects of this character, to the full extent of your imagination.

Do you see and hear and sense your inner critic?

Good. Now destroy him!

Whether you visualize erasing her, blowing him up, or fading her out of existence, choose whatever feels most natural for you.

Your critic isn’t the only voice in your head; he’s just often the loudest. Just like with that great aunt who says snotty things about everyone in the family, you should take anything your inner critic says with an enormous grain of salt.

I like this exercise because it helps us remember that we have some control over our own thoughts. The more you practice this exercise, the more you’ll be able to quickly identify when your inner critic is speaking. Then you can choose whether you want to listen.

Rachel Whalley is a member of the Seattle Incubator and the woman behind Fog to Fire.