How To: Find and Work With a Mentor
by Amy Swift, Chief Product Officer, Ladies Who Launch
Illustration by Barbara Hranilovich
Dozens of women approach me with the question, “How can I find a mentor to help me with my business?” This is a common request because not everyone has a sister who’s a legal eagle or a father who works as an international advertising executive. As entrepreneurs, we want someone we can call on to ask a quick question but also someone to sit down with to discuss the longer, more arduous details of a deal or overall business strategy. And we don’t want to pay for any of it.
Many people who think they need a partner or vendor would actually be better served by a mentor. A mentor is seasoned in the business you’re in; they have wisdom and experience in your particular area and a vested interest (not monetary) in helping you achieve your goals. But mentorship is a two-way street. There are people who love to give advice and support to those who need it, but there are limits to how you can use a mentor relationship.
Here are some tips:
1. Finding a mentor. A mentor is generally someone who has a personal investment or interest in you. You can find a mentor through SCORE or StepUp Women’s Network, but the best kind of mentor is going to be someone who already knows you (or loves you!) and wants you to come out on top. Seek someone near and dear; if you don’t have anyone (even a friend of a friend) in your wider Rolodex, then pursue a formal relationship through a mentoring program.
2. Set reasonable expectations. A mentor is not going to solve all of your business woes. They should be used for periodic counsel, but they are not there to offer in-depth business advice (unless they offer that). Set your expectations accordingly.
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As a Life Coach and member of Step Up’s Professional Mentorship Committee, I regularly present goal-setting workshops to the Step Up mentees. Here are some tips from my experience there:
1. Know your mentor. Even if your mentor is a family friend, mentoring is a professional relationship. Research their background, business, writings, what’s been written about them. This will demonstrate your respect for the mentor’s achievements as well as clue you in to areas of expertise or contacts they can help you with.
2. Set clear goals. Know exactly where you want to go and be prepared to describe it to your mentor in specific, vivid terms. A mentor who knows what you’re aiming at will be in the best position to help you hit the target. Passion plus precision is a winning formula for generating buy-in from your mentor.
3. Stay positive and solution-oriented. If you encounter obstacles (as we all occasionally do), unload your frustration on a friend, then approach your mentor with a creative, problem-solving attitude. Ask your mentor if she’s willing to brainstorm with you. Has she ever faced a similar situation? How did she approach it? Mentors are happy to share their personal experiences when you leave the “overwhelm” behind and bring your curiosity to the table.
Lynda Levy, Ph.D.
LifeWorks Coaching
http://www.lyndalevy.com
Hi Amy,
Great article! It seem obvious but I’d also like to add that it’s your responsiblity to foster the relationship with your mentor. Many times once a mentor has agreed to the relationship, mentees fall back thinking it’s up to the mentor to direct them. As the article outlines, mentors are not instructors/teachers, they’re really there for as sounding board, guidance and the big picture work. So, take the initiative and keep them informed, set the appointments and keep the relationship alive.
Rebecca
Rebecca Shapiro
Ladies Who Launch Incubator Leader
Portland, OR
http://www.rebeccashapiroart.com
http://www.galleryverno.com
Hi Amy,
Another, great “meaty” piece. Thank you! I would also suggest that LWL members connect, first by email, with people who are in the same profession. Or just pick up the phone (like I did, today!) wtih Diane Diehl to inquire about “the business”. I find people are so willing to help when they know you are sincere and ready to work independnetly. She was, quote: “Completely willing to be a behind the scenes support” for me, anytime.”
Mentors are closer than you think.