This doesn’t mean, though, that you have to be (or should be) BFFs with your employees. It means you should take the time to get to know your employees as individuals, and show your employees that you care about their well-being. (Ummm… in other words, be nice!)

The problems arise when you socialize outside of work or develop intimate alliances with certain employees. This often crosses a line and creates problems with professional boundaries. I find this especially true for women.

Like Naja said, being the boss carries a huge responsibility. Here’s my advice: if you feel capable of setting clear boundaries at work (“I am the leader here, regardless of our relationship outside work”) then go for it. If, like so many of us, you are uncomfortable with doing that, you have two choices: 1) Learn new leadership skills that help you do this, or 2) Just don’t cross that line. Be kind and approach your workforce with humanity, but develop your deeper relationships elsewhere.

Bobbi

I’ve been on the other side of the fence; as the employee who was hired simply because the boss liked me. Mind you, I was more than qualified for the job, but looking back I realize she hired someone she thought she’d like to have as a friend. Unfortunately, i was not interviewing that for that position.

It became a challenge for me to have balance in my life and to do the job I was hired to do because I wanted to stay “liked.” After 2 years, the relationship completely dissolved and I was fired for having a life that didn’t work for the boss.

As an entrepreneur, I will always hire for competency and maintain a healthy distance with my staff.

This does not mean that I won’t like or even be sociable with them; however, being in the position of “boss” is a position of power that should not be abused.

Designers tend to be more social, thus they tend to evaluate everyone that way. The problem is, the technical people they hire (pattern makers, contractors etc) don’t have the same kind of social acumen. To their undoing, they hire people they can talk to, those with whom they feel a kinship and affinity but those are (usually) the last person they need to hire. Most of the time, it’s scammers who are good at selling themselves. Quality professionals don’t have the time or the social skills. Designers hire people who know slightly more than they do about something. The thing is, because the designer isn’t technical themselves, they can’t know whether the candidate actually knows what they’re talking about or whether they’re just parroting fancy impressive jargon. There’s one woman I know in NJ who is charging ten to twenty times the going rate. Everybody thinks she’s so nice. Handsome is as handsome does. Don’t get ripped off by someone you like.

Put it this way, have you ever met a rude used car salesman? In the apparel industry, I would be much more inclined to hire someone who was abrupt with me. They obviously aren’t trying to bamboozle me. In an industry characterized by low barriers to entry, they (we) have to weed a lot of people who’d waste our time. In the end, designers hire people they like and can talk to. Well, most pattern makers and contractors are not people you’d invite to cocktail parties. They tend to be anal retentive. And that’s exactly who you want to run your production. It’s only after you’ve proven yourself that they warm up to you.

If you don’t listen to another thing I say, never hire a pattern maker or contractor who dresses to the nines, gets their nails and hair done or who, in any way shape of form, embodies what you think the fashion industry represents. It is so far removed from Vogue magazine. Another world away.