Have You Become a ‘Human Doing’?

by Heidi M. Weiker and Tanya L. Weiker
photo by Lone Morch Schneider

The world says you have it all—but you’re too worn out to even enjoy it. And that’s no good.

Tired but wired? Juggling sacrifices? Superseding, outdoing, overdoing, cranking? Trouble slowing down without crashing—non-stop or asleep? Wearing your “do-it-all-no-time-for-me” lifestyle like a merit badge? Yet somehow still feeling inadequate and pummeled with guilt because it’s never enough? Know you need a break, but you’re just too busy to stop?

Today’s women wear multiple hats; work countless (staggering) hours with far too little sleep; successfully run businesses, homes, families, lives; and generously offer time, resources, and services to others. Impressive, even admirable. But today’s women—that’s you and me—devote an average of only two years of their lives to self-care (including basic personal hygiene).

You Are Made for Joy

You’re not made to “go, go, go” and “do, do, do” without time for restorative rest, sacred time to nurture your own mind, body, and soul. Convincing yourself that you’re “okay” and “fine” going 200 mph with little to no peace in your schedule or ease in your step is harming you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Your constant push to do more and do it faster is revving your system. You’re relentlessly bombarded with stressors all day long, keeping your body primed in fight-or-flight mode. Toxic influxes of stress hormones from this reaction, like cortisol and adrenaline, raise and dangerously sustain increased heart rate and blood pressure, while they slow digestion and kidney systems. Immune systems are progressively compromised. (Did you know that 85 percent of all illnesses are now directly related to stress?) Brain cells are atrophying, actually shrinking, while fat cells are getting fatter! Bone density is decreasing. Muscle tissue is weakening. Aches and pains linger longer and hurt more. Sex drives are waning. Vital energy is sapped. What more do we need for us to recognize that we’re not created to be on the go all the time without stopping?

What Are We All Doing to Ourselves?

Nothing good. It needn’t be this way, though. Really! Okay, so you can’t change the world—the pace, demands, pressures—outside of you. But you can absolutely transform the world inside of you. You are brainy, beautiful, and brilliant. You claimed that at birth. And, at that very same moment, you claimed your inherent right to well-being. Well-being isn’t earned. It’s already yours to nurture, to protect, and to tend. It’s also already yours to neglect, to overlook, and to lose. The transformation begins with you. Women everywhere—recovering stressaholics like ourselves (like yourself?)—are discovering that it’s never too late and it’s not “just the way it is.” Better exists.

Joyful Well-Being Is Only a Moment Away

You own the power to slow, halt, and even reverse the “do, do, do” damage. Be slow on the inside in the midst of a crazy-making, chaotic day. Celebrate and rejoice in who you are (not just all you do). Sing praises to yourself to drown out your critical voice of guilt, inadequacy, unworthiness … Isn’t it time? You soothe others, celebrate others, lift others. It’s your turn. It’s time to believe that caring for yourself and embracing your personal well-being is an integral part of your busy day, not just an “aside.”

Time Spent On You Is Not A Self-Indulgent Luxury

Release your stress chemicals, metabolize them out of your muscles and then fill the space with your own healthy feel-good chemicals, endorphins and enkephalins.

Take out your trash. Would you ignore the trash at home for days, months, years? Don’t allow the
“trash” inside of you (anger, anxiety, guilt, resentment …) to control you and drain you of your light.

Say it like it is: Speak out your emotions. Mentally and emotionally release them through words, sentences, shouts. Scream from the depths of your soul. Let it out!

Write it and rip it: Write it down. Free-flow all of the junk inside of you. Rip it up, shred it, throw it out, burn it …

Move it out: Use your muscles for motion with intention. Physically release it by grunting like you mean it, flicking it out through your arms, wringing and squeezing a towel, piling pillows and pounding away. Stomping it out, walking it off, changing your view, breathing fresh air.

Now, fill up.

Seize the in-be-tweens: Mini breaks are a vital, healthy part of your day. Tune in to these restorative times: first morning moments, lunchtime, last evening moments.

“I am giving thanks for …”: Ten minutes per day, one time a week of writing gratitude lists like this is a proven way to enhance well-being.

Feel it and pass it: Recognize others for who they are, not just what they do. Make it a habit to offer thanks and kindness to others. Write a personal thank you. Remind yourself and others to count blessings and to be better, not bitter.

Stick it up: Post sticky notes and meaningful pictures everywhere (your car dashboard, computer monitor, bathroom mirror …). Read them all the time. Here’s a great one: “I am choosing peace rather than this.”

Say it with love: Your body “hears” self-talk. Would you allow others to say the critical things to you that you say to yourself? Affirmations bridge our minds to our bodies. Self-talk drives action. Be mindful of accentuating the positive and affirming your being and your gifts in life.

The Choice Belongs to You: Be Well

Relegating yourself to a Human Doing (”do-it-all-no-time-for-me”) is a choice, too popular of one. Being a Human Being—well, whole, joy-filled, brainy, brilliant, and beautiful—that is a choice, too. Choose being. It radiates from within you, not from all you do, do, do.

Heidi M. Weiker, MSSA, and Tanya L. Weiker, PT, CPT, are members of the Cleveland Incubator, founders of Spherica LLC, and authors of the newly released book Just Be.