Ladies Who Launch

by Robyn Hatcher

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.” If only more people realized how true Emerson’s words are.

Our first reaction to people or situations is usually based on visual cues. Given the choice between visual and verbal information, our brains will believe the visual over the verbal. Why? Because human beings have not completely evolved from our primitive selves. We still possess the remnants of our old reptilian brain—the part of the mind that deals with instinct. Our reptilian brain very quickly assesses the visual information, then tells us whether we should like, trust, or be wary. That’s why it is so important to be acutely aware of behavior that may send the wrong message.

I was at a large meeting recently that was conducted by high-level administrators from a city agency—let’s call it “Agency A.” The purpose of the meeting was to introduce information about a program that was being instituted to ease friction between Agency A and another agency (Agency B). Agency A had always been perceived as being in the position of power and usually communicated with Agency B in an authoritarian and judgmental manner. On the dais in the front of the room sat five executives from Agency A. Crowded around them, in a U-shaped table arrangement, were about 30 staffers from Agency B. Tension was high. Old baggage filled the air. The new initiative was unclear to some, suspect to others. I was there as an observer because I was asked to create a training module to help make communication between these two agencies more effective. What I saw made me realize that my task would be an uphill climb. As one of the administrators proceeded to speak, I observed several things he DID loudly that made what he actually SAID difficult to hear.

Problem 1: The gentleman was leaning very far back while he spoke, with one arm draped over the back of his chair. My instinctual brain read that posture as being aloof, uncaring, and much too casual.

Fix: A more effective position would have been to sit slightly forward with his chest/ “heart center” open and directed toward his listeners, which would have indicated interest and openness.

Problem 2: His eyes were either on his paper or on one or two spots in the back of the room.

Fix: It would have been better if he had scanned the room, giving five to 10 seconds of eye contact to each section of the audience.

Problem 3: HE WAS CHEWING GUM! As he outlined the new policies, he was doing something that most teachers and parents drummed into us as being the height of rudeness. I could only imagine how instinctively turned off some of the staffers from Agency B must have felt.

Fix: Ask your mom.

In addition to the visual cues, the vocal cues were not much better …

Problem 4: He spoke in a slow, low-pitched monotone.

Fix: Vary your vocal pitch, rhythm, and volume. There is musicality in the English language—find it. The sound and tone of your voice is the second most important factor in becoming an effective communicator.

Problem 5: He used language riddled with jargon.

Fix: Even if you believe that 99 percent of the people in the room understand your acronyms and jargon, spend some time breaking it down for the 1 percent who may not.

Our reptilian brain takes cues from the visual and vocal elements before it processes the actual words coming out of a speaker’s mouth. The consistency of all three elements, however, is what’s important for truly effective and powerful communication.

So was this man from Agency A rude, uncaring, and arrogant? Or was he a man unaware of how loudly his behavior was speaking? I eventually learned that he was the latter—a tech-savvy, hard-working individual with good intentions (but poor presentation skills).

Know that it can take as many as 12 encounters to undo a negative first impression. And not too many people will be willing to give someone 12 chances. In this day and age, with opportunities for face-to-face communication becoming more and more rare, it’s time for all of us to become more aware of the things we may be doing that could be drowning out what we’re actually saying.

Robyn Hatcher is a member of the New York City Incubator and owns Speakeasy Communications; she works with organizations, corporations, and individuals to help them “put their passion where their mouth is.”