Dr. Laura Berman
Dr. Laura Berman
Director, Berman Center
http://www.bermancenter.com
If your sex life could use a little TLC, Dr. Laura Berman just might have some advice that you will love. After 18 years of helping women to overcome sexual dysfunction, Dr. Berman has launched the Berman Center, a spa-like healthcare facility in Chicago dedicated to helping women repair their sex lives and relieve menopausal symptoms.
Dr. Berman, who is also an assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University, says lack of libido is one of the most common sexual problems women face.
She has appeared on TV shows like “Oprah” and the “Today” show, and in many publications like Glamour and The New York Times. She is a columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times, and her latest book. “The Passion Prescription,” was released by Hyperion in February 2006.
The Problem with Treating Sexual Problems
“The Berman Center is really a culmination of the work I’ve been doing with women’s sexual health. I have worked in full-time faculty positions at academic teaching hospitals, and although I was running those programs, I was very frustrated by how difficult it was to get women the treatments they needed, especially when I was trying to put together multi-disciplinary treatments for them, including things like fitness and nutrition.”
The Solution: A Different Kind of Doctor’s Office
“The Berman Center is one of the only centers of its kind in the country. It’s 10,000 square feet and we have everything a woman needs to get well right here. Rather than going to a doctor who sends her to a therapist who goes on a mining expedition to find out what’s wrong, instead she sees medical staff for hormonal and physical issues, a therapist for emotional and relational roadblocks, fitness people who focus on weight loss and body image work, and then we have physical therapy to help women with pain.”
Common Complaint: Low Libido
“The most common (sexual problem women face) is low libido and desire or difficulty with arousal. Some women have pain and a whole variety of problems in between… whether life challenges have gotten in the way of her sex life, fertility treatments have turned her life upside down, she has experienced infidelity, or has been sexually abused and is struggling to lead a sex life that feels good for her. When sex is not working, it really takes a toll on your general health, quality of life and certainly your relationship.”
‘Hurried Woman Syndrome’ – Do You Have It?
“I think women in general are particularly at risk for the health and mental health backlash that comes from trying to juggle too many things at once. We not only tend to be perfectionists, but also we tend to put ourselves low on the totem pole.
“We put a lot of pressure on ourselves and fall into what has been coined as ‘the hurried woman syndrome,’ which is a medical condition with symptoms like weight gain, low libido, high-blood pressure and chronic stress. When we spend (our energy) every which way, not only do we get tired and sick and depressed, we don’t have any energy for sex and joy and fun and playfulness, and that’s what a lot of women executives are missing in their lives.”
Just What the Dr. Ordered: A Date with Friends
“I think spending fun time with girlfriends is good for recharging your batteries. I’’s a good way to get into the woman role instead of the mother role. Keep that time sacred for yourself. I tell men… carving out time for her to take a bath and read a magazine is a form of foreplay. Men can go right from a high-stress day immediately to sex, but women can’t get aroused if they can’t stop thinking about everything else. It’s hard to have libido if you’re worrying about how you’re going to get the kids to their after–school program tomorrow.
‘I talk about all of that in my latest book, ‘Passion Prescription,’ which is basically a do-it- yourself guide for women to jumpstart or revamp their sex lives. I also have an online subscription version at drlauraberman.com that’s kind of a complement to the book, but much more personalized. Women go through the 10-week program online and get information that’s specific to what their challenges are and what their goals are.”
Becoming a Sex Expert
“I became interested in college (at the University of Vermont) in studying anthropology, and as we started looking at components of sexuality across cultures, I became fascinated. I knew I wanted to go into mental health in some way. Then I completed two master’s degrees and my Ph.D., all at NYU and a fellowship in sex therapy at the NYU department of psychiatry.”
Business Help from VC Hubby
“I (started the Berman Center) with my husband, who is a venture capitalist. As a clinician, I didn’t have a lot of extensive business training. He had the business experience, and I learned on the job very quickly. He’s the CEO. Now we’re a public company – BRMC is the ticker (on the Pink Sheets). The company is Berman Health and Media, and under that umbrella is the Berman Center as well as the other media work that is part of my work – the books and the TV show and the radio show and the Web sites.’
‘Sexual Healing’ Comes to Showtime
“I have a Showtime TV series that we’re in the middle of taping right now, and that premieres on July 21, 2006 at 10 p.m. Eastern Time. Each week follows three couples through six days of intensive therapy. It’s being produced by the Gantz brothers, who are Emmy Award-winning producers from HBO’s Taxicab Confessions.’”
Secret to Sparking the Media’s Interest
“I didn’t set out to do all this media work. It just kind of evolved, and I loved it. You have to be genuine
and passionate about what you’re talking about. You have to establish yourself as an expert. Nothing does that better than a well written book that is successful.
“That’s how I got started. I wrote a book called, ‘For Women Only: A Revolutionary Guide to Overcoming Your Sexual Dysfunction and Reclaiming Your Sex Life,’ then I went on TV because the media was interested in my book. I was really careful to be extremely cooperative, well-prepared and well-presented and mostly focused on doing a good job because I wanted the book to sell.”
Prescription for Getting a Book Published
“You have to have something new to say that hasn’t been said before, that’s the main thing. If you have started your own company, then you’re probably already an expert in something. It’s just a matter of thinking about, ‘What are the three or four things that no one really understands about my business?’ There’s something in every business that we can all learn from.”
Greatest Success
“I think my greatest business success is having people around me who have my back in a way that I can relax and delegate with comfort and confidence and who are excellent at what they do. It’s key to my being the mother that I want to be.
“So from having a babysitter who I can completely trust who has my children’s best interests at heart and loves them. to having my PR person at Empower Public Relations to clinicians to my husband who manages all the business pieces… my greatest success is having people around me who I can count on and keep the machine going, because I absolutely wouldn’t be able to do it otherwise.”
Greatest Challenge
“I always think, ‘If I die tomorrow, what would be the most important thing that I do today?’ My challenge is to stay on top of what’s meaningful and not get caught up in the minutiae of what needs to get done.
“My challenge is that there are so many people expecting so many pieces from me that I will allow myself, if I’m not careful, to get pulled into a million directions. I have to ask myself what really matters to me and what matters to my business.”
Businesswoman, Wife, Mother, Doctor, Friend… How She Does It
“A big challenge for women is giving themselves permission to let go of maternal guilt. I have three boys… two are under two, and I have wonderful relationships with them and spend a lot of quality time with them, but do not spend a lot of quantity time with them.
I delegate buying their clothes for the next year or helping the 9-year-old with his school project. I try to have dinner with them five nights a week. I spend weekends with them and try to put them to bed each night. I go on a date night with my husband once a week and everyone is taken care of and we all feel connected to one another. I go out to lunch with a girlfriend every other week. I exercise five times a week, even if I have to get up at dawn to do it because that’s part of what keeps my energy up and my sanity intact.”
Words of Advice:
Be Passionate
“Doing what you’re passionate about is the most important thing. Not starting your business because you think it will make a lot of money or it’s what your family did or it’s what you think you should do. That’s one of the main keys of success.”
Connect with Others
“Have someone in your life who can be your sounding board… whether it’s a network of businesswomen you can turn to, or family members or mentors or whatever. It’s important for women, because this is a large part of how we process things.”
Give Yourself a Break
‘From time to time, go easy on yourself. Once in a while you have to give yourself a break, give yourself permission to veg out in front of the TV. or throw your hands up. or crawl under your desk and scream or do whatever you need to do.”
